I’ve spent most of my energy rewinding time in my shattered brain, trying to erase what “was” and still coming into reality of what “is;” thus, asking myself, “Why me?” Sometimes life gets discouraging, even maddening, when I think of the bruises on my heart, mind, and body resulting from a man I once loved.
My heart is heavy from the memory I hold, delivered from the flames of scorching pain. Whenever I begin to speak, others can sense my unspoken words. That’s the problem with abuse, its pain lingers years after the fact. No matter what you do or what day it is, it will always be remembered.
The term “Bitter B-i-t-c-h Disorder (BBD)” describes this tiresome, mental disruption of normal life. In addition, 99.9% of women who have suffered from domestic abuse by their partner have been renamed the word, “Bitch,” at some point or another; therefore, the term “B-i-t-c-h” best fits the second part of this disorder.
Due to its severity, BBD leads to periodic outbreaks of tears, screams, and anger. BBD is not a disease. It doesn't mean the sufferer has mental problems. It also doesn't mean the sufferer is really a B-i-t-c-h. However, it does mean the sufferer needs help in finding a solution that will give her balance, peace, and happiness so that she can embark on a journey of growth.
Patricia Walker Swinton